Accomplishments

Back at RedCliff the basic skill all students began their program with was fire making. It was essential for making food and keeping warm. We used the Bow Drill form of making fire. It is hard to learn and hard to master, but most staff could make fire within a few weeks of working. I understood all the elements of bow drill fire making. I was very good at teaching students how to make fire. But for the life of me I couldn’t make a fire of my own. After a month or two of trying it became embarrassing to not know how to make fire. Nathan or a student would always make the daily fire and it was unknown to anyone beside Nathan that I couldn’t make fire. Believe me, I tried, and tried, and tried, and tried to make fire. I’d spend days on our off shifts trying to get it. I knew how to make fire. I’d bow until I had bloody knuckles and blisters on both hands to no avail, I didn’t have sufficient down-pressure to make a coal. I have arthritis-like problems in my left wrist. The left hand is the down-pressure hand and because I couldn’t put sufficient weight on my wrist I couldn’t get the friction I needed between the fire board and spindle to produce a coal. After trying for so long to no avail I basically gave up my fire making attempts.

Sometime after I’d worked at RedCliff for something close to a year a bold student announced to the group that he’d never seen me make a fire and said that I probably didn’t know how to. We laughed at him (yeah right, how could a staff not know how to make fire?!) but the comment got me trying to make fires again.

Nathan had broken in a perfect fire set for me. He found and cut a special fireboard made out of cotton root (softer than the regular sage). He’d made me a perfect bow, and skinny spindles (requires less down-pressure). I still remember the moment precisely. I’d gone away from the group a little bit while they were making dinner. I probably lied and said I was breaking in a new fire set. I got to bowing and the fireboard started smoking. Then it smoked more and more and for the first time ever I yelled, “COAL!” No one paid much attention (a staff getting a coal isn’t newsworthy), but I saw Nathan beaming from one ear to the other as I put the coal in the nest and a few moments later yelled, “FLAME!”

I stomped it out and made another fire. I stomped it out and made another, then another. From that day forward making a fire was never hard, even later when I started working with sage on sage kits. My wrist was stronger and the mental block was finally gone.

A couple months later was the big quarterly Shindig where all the groups get together for a big wilderness party. Most of the entertainment is a series of competitions between the students. The last competition of every Shindig is the Staff Bow Drill Competition. It is the big finale. I entered the contest with at least 15 other staff members. We started in the “regulation” pose, standing over our equipment. Stone Bear yelled “GO!” and we all huddled down and started bowing. Surprising even myself, a few moments later I yelled “COAL!” I carefully dumped the coal into the nest and stood up as I blew into the nest. My group and Nathan were excitedly screaming encouragement. I knew I had it. A moment later I yelled “FLAME!” and Stone Bear yelled “Timber wins with a 25 second flame!!! This might be a record!” I dropped the flaming nest and ran to hug Nathan.

That moment of winning sticks out in my memory as one of the most paramount moments of my life. It was the culmination of countless hours of hard work. No one besides Nathan knew the blood, tears and sheer frustration I’d put into making fire. No one knew how ridiculously long it had taken me to make that first fire. No one knew the downright achievement it was for me to win a competition like that. If there was ever a moment in history where the underdog won, it was the moment I yelled “FLAME!”

As I look back on this year, I think of that moment in my life. I’ve always wished that I could have gone on a mission. I wish that I could have set myself apart and studied and taught and felt that missionary Spirit that Nathan and Amy and Cari all wrote home with. I’ve always held a sad spot for missing out on that one unique experience. It’s a feeling somewhat like how I felt about wanting to make fire and being frustratingly incapable. What I learned this year, and what will make 2006 stand out for the rest of my life is that this is the year that I gained a missionary-like understanding.

I set the goal of doing the CES independent study coursework for the Old Testament. I dedicated an average of 1 hour per day to the study of scripture. On some days I studied for something closer to 4 or 5 hours. It was hard to study that much and keep on track. But I can easily say that what I gained was far greater than what I expected. I found that same Spirit of the Lord that missionaries find on their missions. Like those on their missions I carried that Spirit with me every day. I can’t say that I effectively taught a single person this year, but I gained more insight than I have ever before in my entire life. I understand the Gospel better. My testimony is stronger. My love and supreme appreciation for my Savior deepened. I know that my Savior loves me. I don’t have to look beyond Nathan’s car accident to know that we are being watched over and protected. There is nothing more central in my life than this feeling of joy.

Today marks the end of one of the hardest goals I have ever set for myself. As I closed the final CES book and Bible I felt something like a missionary stepping off the airplane and realizing that everything I poured myself into for so long is now over. But unlike the missionary, a new chapter has already begun for me. Today begins next year’s study of the New Testament. If there is any one thing I learned from my hours of study in 2006, it is this: The Spirit I feel is worth it.